Amongst all the chaos and the stillness I often find myself wondering what my thoughts are really like, and how they would spiral between random things. Because, before the pandemic, it seemed like someone had attached a jetpack on life, and it became too fast-paced to keep up with. From the sudden load of school work and tuition, to harrowing exams, and also from constant parties and gatherings to festivals with family, it seemed like there was just no time to be with yourself, in the silence of the night or the early school mornings, and just letting your thoughts flow.
Then ironically the COVID-19 which brought the world to a standstill, entered with a bang! When it first started, staying at home all day everyday seemed like a dream come true, so i enjoyed this time as a temporary thing, but then online school started, and being home, I still felt busy. Too busy to take out time for myself. With online school, practice tests, board year, family gatherings, the initiatives i’m a part of, the obsession of netflix or tv, music, catching up on ever-changing trends etc.
So, if an extra hour was added to the day, I would gift it to myself, and it would be a gift I would cherish the most. All I would use that time for, would be to gather my thoughts as I go on with life, and to just give some time to myself. I mean why should other people only get the joy of spending time with a person like me, so should I right?! Since I do think of my life as a movie, shouldn’t it have a pause button too.....